A meeting of small minds


A meeting of small minds: A made-for-television meeting between two self serving, egotistical leaders who have an overinflated view of themselves. What could go wrong?

What a fantastic military parade you have here, Kim. Better than France’s. Truly amazing. I need one of these. What else you got here? A charming sister! In a few years, I’ll be dating her! I’ll have what’s left of my State Department draft an agreement. Of non-disclosure, for her to sign. Can we discuss that, too, in addition to nuclear weapons? My lawyer can make her a payment of $1 billion won, which in dollars is larger than the entire North Korean economy. We can have a big signing ceremony where I write David Dennison!

Speaking of the North Korean economy, if it’s so bad how do you live like a king and have all these weapons? And everybody does everything you want and is afraid to cross you? Because you ARE a king? Tell me more about that. You are not technically called King? What do they call you? Dear Leader? That’s good! I’m just “President.” Yawn. What? They also call you Great Administrator? Really? That’s just the beginning? Superior Honorarius? Respected Visionary! Wise Leader! Brilliant Leader! Unique Personage! Commander in Chief. Yeah, I got that one. What else?

Father of the Realm, Sun of the Infinity, Shining Galaxy, Guiding Sun Beam, Guarantee of the Rocks and Beaches, Fate of the Nation, Beloved Ancestor, Leader of the Workers and the Soldiers, Great Leader of our Party and of our Nation, Beloved and Respected General, Beloved Ever-Victorious, Iron-Willed Commander, Sun of Socialism — we could change that to Capitalism. But wow.

Supernova of the Nation, The Great Sun of Existence, Father of the Nation — I think George Washington took that one. Great Sun of The Sky Realm — way better anyway. World Dominator of The 21st Century, Peerless Leader, Bright Light of the 21st Century, Great Lamp of the 21st Century, Amazing Father, Great Rocket Man. Really? Great Bird Who Descended From Heaven. Glorious Seer Who Descended From Heaven. This heaven thing is great. I have a lot of evangelical voters. Who knew that the North Korean economy was so productive? We can’t touch you in titles. I feel a trade agreement coming on. Keep going. This is even better than a military parade!

Invincible and Triumphant Leader, Father Dearest, Great Man and Deed-Doer. I should have thought of that one myself! Great Defender, Savior, Mastermind of All Things, Highest Incarnation of the People’s Wishes, His Excellency!

This could be the start of a beautiful set of negotiations!

By Tom Toles – The Washington Post


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